🔥 Nicole - Your direct feedback hurts my feeling

Last month I attended a business networking event. 

🍷 As usual some people would come up to ask me whether they are overpaid or underpaid.

There was a candidate whom I met for the first time.

🥂 She came up to ask me 

Based on her CV, how come she was way underpaid compared to her peers who were working in the bulge brackets.

🏦 She was working at a brokerage for 15 years and wanted to switch to a bank.

Then I blurted out without much thought

“Because banks are willing to pay a premium to hire the best quality candidates and they were usually working at the top tier banks for a while”

👀 Then she was taken aback by my direct feedback.

She got angry and said 

“Your comment hurt my feelings. I believe my tasks are the same as those at the bulge brackets. I was just unlucky to be underpaid”.

🎒 In the past, I would usually explain further and elaborate.

This time, I decided to end the conversation and thank her for her time for asking me questions and moved on to talk to others. 

⌛ I decided not to waste time. 

Maybe I was too direct.

👩‍🎓 This reminded me of my intern days at Deutsche Bank.

I had to wake up at 5:30am every morning to take McDonalds breakfast orders for my team. 

💸 If I ordered the wrong breakfast and drinks, I need to treat them with my intern salary. 

If I ordered correctly, then I can claim back the breakfast expenses that I bought for my team.

🌏 Back then the banking culture was very cut throat because we were surrounded by top talents.

We were really well paid. Hence we need to get used to the fast paced culture. 

🩸 If you could not keep up, you would be out the next day.

Because of this upbringing, maybe I am too direct without realising.

But at the same time, I was thinking, could she survive in this environment? 

🙅‍♀️ But sometimes as a recruiter, maybe I need to learn how to balance between being direct and taking care of others’ feelings.

But as a professional recruiter, I still believe I need to be honest in my feedback.

🥪 Maybe I need to work on how to deliver direct feedback in a “sandwich” approach. 

📊 How about you?

📊 Have you ever been hurt by direct feedback before?

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